My Favourite Quotes from THE OFFICE

Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute are my idols.

Here goes some of my Favourites:

• What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
• Now you may look around an...d see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don’t see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
• Why can’t boys play with dolls? Why does society force us to use urinals when sitting down is far more comfortable?
• Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it and then you have to tame it. Keep it happy, care for it, feed it. Lovingly. The way that an animal deserves to be loved. My animal deserves a lot of loving.
• Yes, it is true…I, Michael Scott am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it and I am going to do it. I need a username and…I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.
• Did you know that ‘gay’ used to mean happy? When I was growing up it meant ‘lame’. And now it means a man who makes love to other men.
• Angelina Jolie was on and she adopted a baby from Asia. And she said that changed her life and that really inspired me. So I want you to look into see how much a little Chinese baby would cost…
• I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the 60s I made love to many, many women – often outdoors in the mud and the rain – and it’s possible that a man slipped in. There’d be no way of knowing...
• When my mother was pregnant with me they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later they discovered that I had reabsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.
• I lost Ed Truck and…it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. And at the same time somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch with a frozen sledgehammer. And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief-bone. And I’m crying and nobody can hear me because I am terribly, terribly…terribly alone.
• Bro’s before ho’s. Why? Because your bro’s are always there for you. They’ve got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her that she was the only ho for you and that she was better than all the other ho’s in the world. And then…and then suddenly she’s not your ho no mo’.
• Hug it out bitch. That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out and in doing so they just let it go and walk away and they’re done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman however. I have found it doesn’t translate.
• Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind – also, weak arms.
• I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther.
• It’s a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski-trip with the real father. But then again, Michael’s a bold guy. Is bold the right word?

Movies and T.V series addiction

I must say i m quite an addict when it comes to Movies and Tv series from the West of course.
One movie minimum or 3-4 episodes of a T.v series is a ritual for me.
The good old days started when Cable Tv revolution started in India. Life was never the same afterwards. The penchant increased after getting into Engineering after meeting like minded friends. I wasn't much of a Theatre person ; i mean used to watch on the idiot box mostly. But one Mr. Akshat changed all that in B'tech. With him and others for company we watched all the movies released week in week out in theatres. Our weekend was aimed at seeing every movie that released in hyderabad. During those days there was no Imax or Pvr in hyderabad. Our main theatres were Sangeet, Anand and Skyline/Sterling. We watched so many shitty movies especially in Hindi but still we continued the policy knowing that it was just a sheer waste of time. Movies like Jeena Sirf mere Liye, Kisna and some Govinda Flicks just to name a few. But those days it was fun. I remember the first time we went for a movie after joining B'tech; We were supposed to go for one movie but due to some persistence we ended up seeing one more in the nearby theatre and we broke the Hostel curfew in the very first visit as we were very late in coming back. The dining out after the movie made the cause even worthwhile killing two birds with one stone. Then after the first year after we moved out of Hostel and got our own pad ; Download bonanza started. Apart from the movies on weekends on the Screen we had truckloads of movies on the PC to boot. Imdb was our first conquest and the Top 250 movies were a priority. That was the time i watched Shawshank Redemption , Memento, 12 Angry men, Good Will Hunting and other great movies which just blew me away. The movies to watch just piled up and then we shifted to the world of T.V series which i must say i more addictive as you keep following it for seasons. As it is the case with many of us; Friends was the first series which took precedence and then the comedy series such as That 70's Show, Everybody Loves Raymond, Seinfeld and others to name a few. The atmosphere was awesome; still remember those times. Then came Lost , Prison Break ,24 which were on the serious side and they were more addictive. I remember the first season of 24 ; we watched it in 2 days 12 hours a day almost ( we were total vellas ;mind ya).
During my MBA i have still remained the same; only thing that has changed is watching these things without company in a single room with headphones. The fact that movies are easily transferred thru Gtak and Ip messenger in campus has resulted in constant replenishment of the movie & TV series stock with space in my C&D drives reachin newer unknown limits like 5-10 mb. Now in the 4th semester there is even more free time so the viewing just increases manifold latest craze being DEXTER (TV series) which is so intriguing. Yesterday i saw 11 episodes of Dexter which accounts for nearly 11 hours. With nothing to do its an unbeleivably easy way of passing time. Even in the first 2 semesters when all the people were busy studying and looking after their grades and stuff .. i was pretty much doing the same shit as i do now ( which is nothing to be proud of by the way). But i guess people like to pass time differently than others and my passtime is doing this.
Directors like Christopher Nolan just get better leaving me no option but to see their movies; i guess i m helpless ( no pun intended). I don't know what i will do with this habit once i start working , i guess got to tone it down a bit because freetime will be at a premium. This habit has repercussions which are very glaring in my life ..i m one of those with the lowest attendance in the college beacuse i sleep late not before 4.30 am everyday and wake up in the afternoon on most of the days missing classes and end up getting F grades for not complying with the minimum attendance criteria. That is the bitch of it. I know many of my friends who after having started working left this habit which they were all part of in B'tech. So , maybe i can do that too in a few months time.
I am just in awe of the fact that the West produces such quality of movies and Tv series which our industry can take a cue from rather than producing shitty movies with no logic and crappy serials. Even if they copy from the West they manage to screw it up.
Keep watching Movies.... Cheers

Arsenal : The season so far thru my eyes

For all those gooners out there.. this season has been very strange. We have been inconsistency personified. We win and then play badly the next game. This has been that kind of season. I think part of the blame should be shouldered by wenger. We didn't win the last season's Premier league beacuse of the two crucial injuries in the business end of the season; Rosicky and Eduardo. But Arsene knew that this season their return would be delayed. Selling Hleb , Flamini and Gilberto made sense if he replaced them. We got one replacement and that was more on the lines of Hleb's cover which was Nasri.
Our midfield currently is not what we would put out as a Top 4 team. Only Cesc is the stand out player. With Nasri frequently getting injured and theo out for a while; Denilson , Diaby and Song are the Midfield players with cesc. But , are they good enough to play in the first team? The simple answer is NO. Wenger is to blame for this. He should have got the defensive midfielder in the summer transfer window. With Gilberto leaving that was quintessential. Our defense needed strengthening too and a classy centre back should have been bought to the club. Instead we bought silvestre who wasn't gettin a start at Man Utd and Bischoff another young unknown commodity. Last season gave us renewed hope that Gunners despite being so young can deliver the much awaited premier league crown which we are chasing since the past 4 years.
The defeats to lowly fulham, stoke etc have left us shell shocked to say the least. The biggest worry was that all the 5 games we lost , we didn't deserve to win. With Arsenal ;one thing is for sure that we'll create enough chances in the game, but this season due to the kind of midfield we play with even the chances are far and few. The problem with the current midfield sans flamini , rosicky and hleb is that they don't know how to fight, to scrap, to battle. Wenger's teams who won the Double in 1998 and 2002 were full of real men: Adams, Keown, Winterburn, Dixon, Bergkamp, Pires, Parlour, Vieira, Petit, Ljungberg, Seaman, Lehmann, Lauren, Campbell, Cole, Edu, Henry. They tackled furiously, bled for the cause, got booked and fought the scrappy battle too if needed to win the games. Wenger's winners had the worst disciplinary record in the League, and we weren't complaining and that was because it showed we weren't to be messed with. And it showed those players really, really cared.
Today's squad is full of boys who would run back to mummy at the first sign of Roy Keane's snarling shadow emerging into a tunnel. They're physically small, emotionally immature, and psychologically fried. With no leader like Adams or Vieira to guide them, and no older, experienced players to look up to, they don't know what to do as the pressure intensifies, the fans get on their back, and the losses accelerate. The tottenham game is a prime example.
Everyone is not scaredto play us now, because they smell the one word that nobody ever associated with a Wenger-led Arsenal: fear(Physically as well as the beautiful stylish slick passing game). The other teams put men behind the ball and block our flowing one touch play ( That is also disappearing with the kind of midfield we have these days), catch us on the counter with the leaky defence we have. So playing Arsenal especially at the Emirates is not difficult. Aston Villa showed that with gabby's pace that we can be counter attacked easily coz all our players are up the pitch. Breaking defense minded teams down is difficult as we dnt have Bergkamp's vision or Henry's wizardry. We are winning against our top4 rivals because they also come out and play, so its an even attacking game; against lesser teams its just one way and we dnt create enough in the final third and pay on the counter or set pieces.
Some points to be illustrated is that the strike pair of Ade and Persie have scored the most goals as a strike partnership in the league and still we are 8 points behind the leaders. We have conceded 20 goals that is the same as tottenham, twice more than liverpool and manutd and almost thrice as much as Chelsea. I am sorry to say; but we can't win the league if we concede these many goals. Wenger isn't making the right decisions often although he is handicapped by injuries. The game against Boro was a prime example. He made one change in the game at the 80th minute bringing bendtner on. I mean we were at 1-1 and it was a must win game and he didnt change it till the end and remained stubborn and hopeful. We had no width in the game diaby and denilson were on the flanks who are both Central midfield players and always cutting in the centre. There was no width . He could have easily bought on vela and wilshere to man the wings and give Boro problems with their pace and trickery but instead he let the game go when we should have pressed on and made boro's defenders work for their lives.
Finally i gotta say that some changes are absofruitly necessary; No way diaby , song and denilson should play in midfield .. at the most 1. January transfer window should be made full use of if we want to remain competitive. I know it ain't over till it is mathematically over but Arsenal with such inconsistency can never challenge unless some things are turned around. Being a Gunner supporter for 12 years these 3 years without a trophy has been very disappointing for me. I just hope AW realises that and makes the changes needed to make the gunnerz fight for the title. With Rosicky and Eduardo returning for the business end ..it is very important that we keep pace with the leaders and go for the final push.. otherwise with Villa charging securing the 4th place will be our only priority in a couple of months.
COME ON U GUNNERS.

Bindra's Gold Medal

It was a glorious day & the whole country rejoiced when Abhinav Bindra won the Gold medal in olympics in shooting. This was the first individual gold medal that we have won as a nation in olympics. It does seem a little odd that a country as huge as India over so many years couldnt win a single gold medal in individual sport. All the gold medals that we have won as a nation in team sport can be attributed to hockey ( which we were pretty good at gazzilion years ago).

This idea of writing about Bindra's Gold medal came from a discussion i had with my friend Vishwanathan(Vishi). I was just watching the weekend Premier league games at my friends place in somajiguda. While watching the game the Bindra topic had come into picture. Vishi told me that the medal belonged to Bindra & this is no victory of the Indian olympic association or country as a whole. The shooters in India depend on the associations for the ammunition & Shooting ranges. A pellet which is required for shooting costs around 20 rs each & the association have to import it from other countries. The import duties are very high which makes it very costly. An average shooter gets to fire around 50 shots a day which is nowhere enough. What Bindra had in his favour was that he was from a rich family & had decided to take matters into his own hands quite a while back. He hired a german coach. Had his own shooting range & no shortage of ammuntion. This begs for a question - "Can Indian olmpic association seriously claim they had a hand in this medal?" I say NO. There is no dearth of Abhinav Bindra's in India. What we lack is the basic infrastructure which never seems to get it right. I am not saying that Abhinav Bindra's achievement should not be credited to the country, after all he is an Indian. But what pains me is that the Olympic Association getting kudos & they take credit. Bindra was self centred ,took the matter into his own hands & he had the financial backing for it. But how many people have the backing.

There are two very famous models of proven success in Olympics. The American & the Chinese model. I'd start with the Chinese model. They take young kids, train them in their discipline & make them into the finished product. The Chinese over the years have been doing so well ( They lead the medals tally in Beijing Olympics,2008).Their system is based on hardwork & total dedication towards the sport & non stop practice. The pitfall is that young kids are made to work so hard at a tender age with a sole purpose of making them medal winners & earning glory for their country.
The American model is based more on the natural athletes & college system. There is so much backing for sports in schools & universities. Scholarships given for sports & education is not the sole criteria. An average student can get into a good university if he is good in sports. Natural athletes come through this system where there is incentive. This system is based on the sports structure that is so strong.
What method should we adopt if we want to prosper & follow the footsteps of China & America in attaining Olympic glory OR should we create our own method. Sadly there is no method that India has come up with in these many years & i don't see them as visionaries devising a plan for the future. I beleive that the American model should be adopted in India. The Chinese model is too hard for the Indian public in general to swallow. It would be very hard to imagine Indian parents letting their kids totally into the hands of the coaches to win medals for their country by sacrificing education. The American model cannot be implemented all of a sudden. We need a long term plan to develop the facilities and the infrastructure available from the school levels to College. Many colleges dont even have a ground to play any sport & even if they have one it is for all the sports combined. Now these are the basic amenties that every institution should provide. Sports should be always encouraged. I am not saying build Shooting ranges or Boxing Rings in school. But atleast make an effort to make the kids more athletic & sports driven. Basic things like a track for running should be made a prerequisite. Scholarships & Sports quotas should be made compulsory, a stipulated percentage for all colleges. Its not all about books & studies. If the system stays the same i don't see any improvements ahead in our medal tally or for that matter any other sporting achievements. Look where Hockey is today, its a shame we can't qualify for the Olympics. Something is wrong with the system. I beleive we have enough potential to match any country in terms of the talent pool.

I got sucked in by the topic & the post has been stretched i guess. Sorry guys , Just went with the flow. Hope you found my views ineteresting. Feel free to put your points across whether you agree or disagree with me.. Its just my viewpoint & opinion.
Again a special thanks to Vishi .

ICFAI & my association...

This is my first blog here in IBS, Hyd. Being the lazy bum that i am, finally after a lot of persuasion from my friends & inner motivation( lol), i venture in these waters. I will be writing on different topics.. hope ppl find it readable

I have been one of the main contributors to ICFAI fund, i mean the monetary fund. Having done my engineering from ICFAItech hyderbad, i was gracious enough to again donate to the fund by doing an MBA here. Well it was my dad who wanted me to join Icfaitech as he had been influenced by its brochure & foreign books & hifi teachers and stuff. I did my 12th std in maharashtra and scored 87% which was good to get me the good colleges in Maharashtra as there was no entrance exam & the selection was based on percentage. As i had my friends in Nagpur & my family there, i didnt wanna go. But as my dad wished i entered the unchartered territories of Icfaitech as it was their first year in engineering & so was mine. The college had nothing no big buildings & no campus so as to speak. My hostel was in a place called old alwal & that was a naxalite area. But as i settled it would turn out to be the best 4 years of my life not becoz of the college but because of the friends i made & the masti we did. One thing i would never deny is that to pass in ICFAI is th easiest as you can hardly fail. I bet if i was in any other college i would have had many subjects to repeat. I was totally blessed in that regard becoz i never studied there, except for the last day.. I think i got the most C's ( grade) in engineering among all the students(lol).
After engineering i dropped an year for MBA preparation with a sole objective in mind.. nething but ICFAI. As my dad's finances had been drained out funding a loser in the costliest institution there is for engineering. But as luck would have it , here i am writing in my wonderful single room in IBS, Hyderabad. So ICFAI has been a mentor for me in my crucial years. I am not bashing them but just giving you insights of my thought process. Again in my MBA i have screwed up things the same way as i did in engineering. I knew the system , so i was a bit cocky. But still i have to be among the top guys in worst attendance. I still study at the last moment. Some people never change & never learn.. you know who that guy is..
But ICFAI has given me the best moments of my life which i will cherish forever & i met the most wonderful people in both my Engineering & MBA who have left an indelible imprint on my life. I am sure there wouldnt be another ICFAI experience after MBA... but u never know... looking at my track record nething is possible.

I was a pure brahmin (iyengar) when i came to ICFAI, now i m the most polluted of them, all thanks to chicken, beef, pork, ham, booze & smokes.